Missed Blogging

It’s already March 31^st and only a few more hours it will now be April. Time flies so fast. Or is it really that fast?

This month I noticed that I was only able to come up with a few posts.  “What could be the reason?” as I reflect on this. Frankly speaking I have been so busy thinking these past few days. It’s kind of ironic that when I started blogging here in WordPress I would always look forward to reading the scheduled topic for a day.

There’s never a day that I would try to miss a blog post. I may have missed a day without posting but I would always make up for that day by posting in advance. There came a time that I will not sleep unless I made my blog post for that day. Seasons are changing I must say. But who am I not to miss blogging? I still love to write more so I could learn and discover myself more.

For the past few days I busied myself studying and rehearsing songs for our CLP scheduled every Sunday. There are even times I wanted to give up and just rest especially when I think that it will take us more weeks to practice. I know I must be more than grateful that I am part of our community’s Music Ministry. This has been one of my fervent wishes as I love to touch more people by singing praise and worship songs heartily. Just the thought of it already encourages me to just go on.

And oh by the way, I am also into dancing! Sometimes I feel like I’m an artist or a celebrity who is busy improving her own craft. I definitely love music as I enjoy both – singing and dancing! Back in my younger years, I could not forget memorable instances when I displayed my interest in dancing. When I was in my kindergarten year, I was part of a dance group wherein we were asked to dance in an important event in our school. I could no longer recall if that was the school’s Foundation Day. All I know I was not able to dance that day!

I would always recall that instance with my mom since it was because of her I was not able to perform then. She told me the program will not start so early in the morning and thought that programs would start late. She was wrong in saying that since I missed our dance performance and I really cried for it! My teacher even told my mom that I was our class’ star dancer.

My love for dancing did not stop there as I always displayed my gusto in dancing whenever there is an opportunity. Funny that I would only dance in my high school year when it was required in our class. I will never forget the beautiful remark I received from a former classmate of mine. She told me why I did not join cheer dancing since I can dance well. My reasoning in mind then was I did not like going home late because of dance practices. I also learned that it was very difficult to ride a jeepney (mode of transportation here in the Philippines) if I go home very late in the evening.

Anyway, I am now given another opportunity to show off my dancing skills. Mind you I am also part of our Dance Ministry! Later this evening, I would be recalling the dance steps we practiced the other night. My only problem is I could not immediately absorb some of them in my mind.  Hopefully I could now memorize some of the dance steps. Hello to a fast dance song to the tune of Usher’s DJGot Us Falling in Love Again!

Last Kiss

I have been humming ang singing this song for several days already. I cannot even recall where I was able to first saw this video. But the moment I listen to the song, I have become instantly addicted especially how beautifully harmonious the singers did in their cover.

The song is called Last Kiss which is originally sang by Taylor Swift. Boyce Avenue did an amazing cover again but this time they collaborated with the newcomers/lovely duo Megan and Liz who are twins! I thought I was wrong since you can easily recognize who is Megan and Liz not only with their hairstyles but also with their faces.

Anyway, it seems ironic that I instantly liked the song though I do not have such past experience. I also listened to Taylor Swift’s song but I seem to like this cover version better maybe because I can really feel the feelings conveyed in the song that I also enjoyed singing it!

Only Seventeen

Cover of A Walk to Remember

This reminded me of a favorite song I enjoyed singing before. It was Mandy Moore’s song titled 17. I got hooked listening to her songs when her movie A Walk to Remember was shown in movie theaters several years ago.

Can’t believe it’s been a long time already! I was still in my teens then. I even told myself that when I turn 17, Mandy Moore’s song would be my banner song for that year. However, it’s inevitable for me that I would sing a different song after a few months of singing it countless times.

Anyway, it was because of that song that 17 became my favorite number. I still like that number up until today. I just feel that this song has somehow helped me to know myself better and know what I really wanted to do with my life.

As I read through the lyrics of the song 17, my favorite lines can be found in the second half of the Chorus which I am also sharing here:

Think I made my mind up
I got time to grow up
Face responsibility
Livin’ in the moment
Keepin’ my heart open
While I’m only 17

Perfection

Natalie Portman won the Oscar’s Best Actress Award for Black Swan!

Though I was not able to watch the Oscars live, I am still updated. Thanks to the people who love sharing news on Facebook.  Before that, I was already curious since I read very short reviews about the film and Natalie Portman’s great portrayal in the movie.

Just last week, my mom and I watched the movie Black Swan. I was initially told by my mom that the film would mostly deal with psychology.  Never did I realize I would find the movie suspenseful. Some parts of the movie I really found disturbing especially for very young ones. I wondered why the movie is rated 13 only when I think it must be rated 18. Just my opinion since the movie is currently shown here in the Philippines and most people here are still not open talking which are for adults only.

Mind you my mom even told me not to watch some sensitive scenes in the movie. But at some point I wondered my mother must have forgotten I am already in my past 20s! My goodness I believe I must also open myself to some issues of sexuality. I know I am matured enough to understand these things.

Because of this I found some resemblances in Nina’s relationship with her controlling mother in the movie vis-à-vis my relationship with my mom. At times I find my mom so conservative with the way I should dress in public like for instance when we went to Boracay two years ago. Since most women wear short shorts, I also wore mine. My mom discouraged me since I looked thin and it did not suit me. I felt bad then since it became a very big deal. But then it just came to my mind that maybe what she was telling to me was right. Guess what, I changed to my more decent and comfortable clothes. Glad I did since I felt the cold air when we went outside that evening!

Anyway, the following question came to my mind after I watched the movie: Can anyone really achieve such perfection?  I suppose some who may be reading this have already watched the film. What I liked about it is it really focused to its central theme of perfection. It is told in the perspective of Nina who struggles in becoming perfect as a ballerina dancer. She has become obsessed that she overworked herself just to perfect her dance moves instead of just enjoying her moment of dancing.

In some ways, I could easily relate to her character. I too admit that I also tend to become perfectionist but now in a more relaxed way I guess. I know I have already missed a couple of days posting in my WordPress blog. But that does not mean I should get upset. I would always tell myself to take time and just be relaxed. I could still get back on track.

I realized that sometimes becoming overly obsessed with perfectionism leads to stress and extreme pressure. This has happened to me before. I must have felt toxic since it also affected my relationship with the group I headed in my community before. After that incident, I mellowed and become more relaxed in dealing with them.

It also helped that I temporarily left the community I am still part of since this enabled me to reflect on the beautiful things I did. I never thought I could accomplish great things being a leader in our community knowing that I was shy before I became all out in my service.  I am happy to have already overcome my shyness and I am embracing my better self now.

As I end my today’s post, I would like to share the most striking line in the movie:

“Perfection is not just about control, it is also about Letting Go.” –Black Swan